Tag Archives: Politics

Where Have You Gone, Bill the Cat?

Posted on by .
Leave a reply

Editor’s Note: Notice the people you knew who slept through high school civics and changed their university major to forestry to avoid college civics have become experts on the Constitution, the Electoral College and political issues of all sorts? They know things. They’re also allowed to vote and drive and birth humans. Yea, your fear is real.

Vote and Vote Often.

Citizens pressed forward to get a glimpse. The front-runner from Cromwell County mounted a contentious, arduous campaign, and with the polls opening in less than 24 hours, his election as state legislator was all but assured. The Bowie Review & Caller was on the scene.

“Helluva a candidate, I say. One HELLuva a candidate,” said Dexter Bottomfeed, long-time political consultant and full-time backslapper, wingman and good buddy. “Bar none. We’re no longer taking names. Gerald P. McGillicuddy will be the finest legislator from Jackson County who’s ever roamed the statehouse.”

“Cromwell County?” said Bonnie Truthfinder, recent graduate of the Texas State School of Journalism and now political reporter. “You just said Jackson County.”

“Didn’t I say Cromwell?  Dang. After 20 years, these elections start to run together. Jackson County was last year,” he said. “Well, no matter the county, we all need a Gerald P. The finest man and the finest candidate I’ve ever had the pleasure of representing.”

“Pleasure, I’m sure. You’re declaration, I’m not sure. How much is he paying you?

“Balderdash and folderol. The campaign has nothing to do with compensation. It’s about providing effective leadership to the most downtrodden of our citizens, the disaffected middle class and the hardworking wage earners desperately clawing their way back from the abyss of social decay and economic calamity.”

Read more →

From Here to Isolation

Posted on by .
Leave a reply

Editor’s Note: While for many the following unfortunately is not the case, those in my world remain well and the experience of isolation, surreal for sure, has been an observation of human behavior. Whether it’s folks in denial while shopping without masks, or protesters defying social distancing on the steps of government buildings. Whether it’s reruns of the 1978 MLB season or Katy Perry’s wardrobe on American Idol At Home. The mind wanders. Hey, I just organized my sock drawer by color.

Is it strange I schedule my day around the evening news?

CENTRAL FLORIDA – Self-exile. We’d think I was an embattled Shah or Justin Bieber, but no. My county has stay-at-home orders with a broad definition of essential services. Only massage parlors, tattoo shops and barbers, the only true essentials, are closed. I’m simply home and working remote because I’m on the low end of the at-risk category and somebody out there loves me. But it hasn’t been without raised eyebrow.

The learning curve has been steep. And I’m either annoyed or hungry. Then again I’m always hungry. Bottom line? People are nuts. How anyone survived outside the womb is beyond me. Perhaps people survived childhood by eating paint chips, perhaps THEY were correct about fluoride in the water. No matter, everyone is nuts. And Dr. Anthony Fauci will save us.

Clothing. Or do the goldfish make me look fat?

I haven’t worn pants in six weeks. Not Terry Bradshaw full nude around the fish tank, but rather shorts versus jeans. And I’ve discovered cargo shorts can hold three dog leashes, collars and treats. Four unused environmentally friendly doggie poop bags. Seven used fabric sheets for the dryer. Two remote controls. One bottled water. Seven days of mail, and one Hunter S. Thompson paperback. A stapler, wrench and double-sided tape. One package of peanut butter crackers. Double A batteries, chicken bones and nail clippers. Did I mention I forgot how to tie my shoes?

Read more →

2016: The Election That Never Ends

Posted on by .
Leave a reply
Editor’s Note: The following story by Jeffrey Rembert was posted by FORWARD Florida on its website under Blog on July 19, 2017.

First Meeting of Presidential Advisory Commission on Election

Just when we thought the plot lines couldn’t get crazier. Just when we swore the name Kris Kobach never would trend on Twitter, we get a J. Jonah Jameson dream scenario. The 2016 presidential election results are being called into question. By the winner.

In the words of Kobach, vice chairman of the commission that’s looking into voter fraud, we “may never know” if Hillary Clinton actually won the popular vote. Or so he said Wednesday to MSNBC after the commission’s first hearing. If that’s the case we then may never know if Donald Trump actually won the Electoral College.

Lest we forget, the White House is occupied by a realty television star who uses social media with the zeal of a clique-conscious teen. “Modern Day Presidential” is the way he describes his penchant to tweet when on the attack or on the defense. And though his approach could be described as a shrewd use of the radio and television of the 21st century, our fascination with social media con-tent has led to a precipitous drop in our country’s IQ.

We’re now distracted by fake magazine covers adorning the walls of Mar-a-Lago, comments about a newscaster’s plastic surgery and the president’s professional wrestling greatest hits. What is he going to do or say next? How will the Congress react? While these incidents are extensions of our need to read tabloid headlines while standing in the checkout line, they should give us, as it does our allies, pause and consideration to what’s going on in Washington.

For there’s one troubling issue that is getting too little attention. No, we’re not talking about pageant contestants locking their doors to the leering eyes, groping hands of celebrities. We’re talking about an issue that should cause every-one, no matter their political ideology, to say enough is enough.

Read more →

Journalism: No More Funny Business

Posted on by .
Leave a reply

Editor’s Note: The following story by Jeffrey Rembert was posted by FORWARD Florida on its website under Blog on July 6, 2017.

Trump, Flamingos and Provocateurs

Today’s politics is like a daily trip to the circus with clowns piling out of the car. There’s seemingly no end. A social studies exercise gone awry. The joke keeps on giving, and everyone is in on the joke.

So how does one stand alone?  Set themselves apart when everyone is telling the same joke.  Then it occurred to me.  I was lookin’ for humor in all the wrong places. Lookin’ for humor in too many faces. Searchin’ their eyes. Lookin’ for traces … And that was just a televised White House press briefing.

FullSizeRender.jpg-640x360

Then I heard an all too familiar voice booming from the corner office of the newsroom. And it wasn’t Johnny Lee. And she didn’t need a mic.

“No more mister nice guy. The gloves are off. Call us fake news. Call us enemy of the American people. Body slam our reporters. Well, that party is over.” My publisher was in a touchy mood.

Two things could explain her outburst. One, either the Keurig was broken. Or two, some hapless journalist was caught staring out the window. So I took another sip of my coffee, as I brought my own, and closed the blinds. Hard to concentrate on a black bear cub mauling a pink flamingo yard ornament across the street when files are being thrashed about the newsroom.

“We’ve been playing it safe way too long. Let’s make everyone happy. Let’s bring people together. Let’s support the military industrial complex,” then she took a deep breath. “How about let’s not? No more goody two shoes. No more dear sweet Pollyanna. I want edgy. I want controversial. I want provocative.” Read more →

Clinton, Trump Eye the Florida Prize

Posted on by .
Leave a reply

Editor’s Note: The following story by Jeffrey Rembert was posted by FORWARD Florida on its website under Legislative on August 11, 2016.

Late-night comedians have spent the better part of the past decade and a half ribbing the Sunshine State’s electoral mishaps and for good reason.  Even our well-heeled counties have found ways to offer comedic fodder with voters misunderstanding the mechanics of voting and creating embarrassing delays in Election Day vote tabulation.  But comedy aside, based on the numbers and the state’s recent refusal to be labeled electorally either red or blue, Florida is the most important state in the upcoming presidential election.

Of the top seven most populous states, all but two have consistently given their electoral votes to the same party, election after election, since 2000. And of these behemoths of population and electoral votes, Florida and Ohio are the only states to accurately select the past four winners.  California and Texas?  Locks respectively in the Democrat and Republican columns.  New York, Illinois and Pennsylvania?  Though Pennsylvania claims diversity in its voting ranks, all three states have gone Democrat since 2000.

Florida and Ohio remain electoral powerhouses of no certain allegiance but one is more so than the other.  Read more →

Florida Takes Center Stage at GOP Debate

Posted on by .
Leave a reply

Editor’s Note: The following story by Jeffrey Rembert was posted by FORWARD Florida on its website as a Blog on September 21, 2015.

Was there anyone left in Florida last Wednesday night? Or, was the state’s entire population at the Reagan Library in Simi Valley for the second Republican primary debate? Ok, so that was an exaggeration. Only the 35% of the state’s voters, those registered as Republicans, attended. More on that soon enough.

With The Walking Dead television marathon unavailable, I devoted my Wednesday evening to the debate. And after more than four hours of watching 15 candidates squabble over issues while a 16th candidate, with an approval rating consisting of his wife and three fishing buddies, watched from his Virginia basement, I can attest little differs between the CNN “reality show” and a zombie apocalypse.

Read more →

#NationalSoWhatDay

Posted on by .
Leave a reply

Editor’s Note: The following story by Jeffrey Rembert was posted by FORWARD Florida on its website as a Blog on September 16, 2015.

Social media applies grinding pressure to journalists accustomed to gazing out windows in search of inspiration. Now late-afternoon deadlines are mere follow-ups to the day-long deadlines imparted by posting, tweeting and pinning, and the need to treat each day as #NationalSomethingDay has made irrelevant the important days like the opening of the livestock show and publication of Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit issue.

Hashtags elevate importance. Anything following a hashtag has immediate prominence and relevance to our existence. Like getting approval from People. But more likely hashtags are coding designed to manipulate our minds. In fact, I made it halfway through the first Friday in June before thunder roared on an otherwise clear day. Lights flickered, wall decor shook, the art director’s cat actually moved. Did the deity of social media demand favor?

Read more →

Dixie: Old Times There Are Best Forgotten

Posted on by .
Leave a reply

Editor’s Note:  The following blog also was posted in abbreviated form as “Reader View: Clinging to Dixie?  Society will judge” by the Sante Fe New Mexican on July 20, 2015.

Original Meaning Has Come And Gone

You ask your son before he goes out to wear something other than a T-shirt otherwise people might think he’s a punk. You ask your daughter to put on a skirt with more length otherwise people might think she’s, well, you know. You ask your husband to shave before a dinner party otherwise people might think he’s a slob. You might even ask your wife to … best keep that to yourself.

What’s consistent is concern for how society perceives us and loved ones. We understand society perceives things a certain way and desire to avoid misunderstanding. So you ask yourself and those you care about to avoid giving an impression that’s not accurate as society will think what society wants to think. It might not be fair but historically we bring it upon ourselves.

Some people want to continue to fly the Dixie flag as a symbol of their Southern pride without being perceived as racist. Well, like Gen. William T. Sherman and his “March to the Sea” that army has come and gone. Society will judge you, I and everyone else based on modern-day perceptions, and of all the symbols representative of the Confederacy, Dixie is one symbol that long ago lost its original meaning. Today it stands for segregation.

Read more →